Six Years Ago, Today

December 27, 2001 

10:30  I did not sleep very well last night.  I felt like I was staring out the window at the moon most of the night.  By the time the sun came up this morning it was snowing.  Linda and I played and teased each other a little before Lane and Josh woke up; it was fun trying to keep from laughing too hard and waking everyone up.

I was thinking about work last night, so I called John Cross this morning to talk about my status.  I explained that I had called Carol about three weeks ago, but ended up going back into the hospital, and having two weeks of Electro-Convulsive Therapy before being released again just a few days ago.  I did also tell him that I am still having difficulty, and will probably need more ECT treatments.  Even if I don’t, it will likely be several more weeks before I will be recovered enough to return to work.

John gave me a briefing about how the organization is shaking out:  Carol is the head of Access Controls, and Pat Hymes, Pat Rosa, and two of the other FTU-legacy Information Security managers earned positions, and the final two were earned by legacy Wachovia managers.  We discussed briefly that the Chicago team continues to look like it will be phased out.  I reaffirmed for John that once I am capable of returning to work, I will be open to accepting a severance package and being laid off.  John will remind Carol, and will be sure she passes that on up the chain as well.

I am continuing to have trouble with my memory, and it continues to be frustrating.  Linda reminds me over and over that Dr. Gumapas told her that my brain had been “made raw”, and that I should expect to not be able to feel normal and return to work for as much as two months.  I’m to “lay low” for at least a month without pushing myself too much; he didn’t want me even to begin psychotherapy for at least a month.  The way I’ve been feeling the past few days, I think I probably am not out of the woods yet, and should probably expect to spend more time in the hospital, at least in the day program.

If I am going to be out of work for a couple more months, who knows?  Maybe I will be able to get some writing done.  I certainly would like to get an article or story published; it has been a dream for quite a while.  Maybe I should start with getting mom’s letters all pulled together - that should prove to be an interesting project.

16:20: We decided to go shopping, so now Lane, Josh and I are sitting in the van, waiting while Linda picks up a few groceries in Shaws’.  We need some decent coffee, among other things.  We’d already gone into Border’s Books, where I bought three magazines and two CD’s.  The magazines were “Flying”, “Private Pilot” and “CQ”; the CD’s were Lenny Kravitz -”LENNY”, and Diana Krall - “The Look Of Love”.  We also bought Joshua a watch in Wall-Mart, where I also bought myself a new CD case that holds up to 64 CD’s, and a CD case for Forest that holds 24.  Linda looked for a light-weight night gown, but didn’t find one.

~ by Thor on December 27, 2007.